Speaking Their Language
This piece explores the conflict between sexuality and religion, and the disconnect between the institution of religion and religion itself. It desperately tries to find a middle ground, a voice of reason in the midst of incongruent ideals. But only through countless attempts of trying to be heard and understood does the narrator realize that this self-damaging effort is futile and that no resolution can be reached in the end - and perhaps this is for the better.
Tears fall
And she collects them
Revelation 21:4
“He will wipe every tear from their eyes.”
We are on Noah’s Arc
Each drop a precious form of life
Each one acknowledged
Luke 12:7
“Even the hairs on your head are all numbered.”
She combs her fingers through my hair as I weep
And whispers reassurance
A love so soft
A blind pastor would smile
She holds my grief gently
A dove with broken wings
Galatians 6:2
“Carry each other’s burdens
And you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
She is patient
She is kind
As I fall to my knees
And beg them for mercy
She pulls me out of my pain
And brings air to my weary lungs
Psalm 147:3
“He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.”
I try to speak their language
But they use their words like a whip
They say that this is not their intention
They say that unconditional love
Exists independently of support, of acceptance
As if you can remove the heart from a man
And assure him, “I still love you, I still accept you”
They reference verses devoid of context
A cherry taken out of a tree of apples
Verses mistranslated
Edited, rewritten over two millennia
A game of telephone
I wonder how they decide
What God really meant
Which commands should be taken literally
And which should not
Leviticus 19:27
“You shall not round off the hair on your temples
Or clip the edges of your beard”
Exodus 21:7
“When a man sells his daughter as a slave
[She shall] please her master.”
Exodus 35:2
“But the seventh day shall be your holy day
Whoever does any work on the Sabbath
Shall be put to death.”
Of course that’s not what God really meant
These are exceptions
They are absolved of these sins, of course
It is only my love, my tender abomination
That is certainly worthy
Of eternal condemnation
They say as they please
And I am weak
I take their flagellation into my own hands
I carve my flesh
Into something they might approve of
I die for them, for their words
For their hypocrisy
For their pick-and-choose religion
I put the nails in my own hands and feet
As the thorns of their shame tighten around my throat
They are just delighted to see
My scarlet stained hands folded in prayer
I cry out
And she is there
Her voice cuts through the darkness
A shepard for when I am lost
I escape their hell
Here, I am safe
Isaiah 41:10
“Fear not,
For I am with you.”
She looks into my eyes
And I know peace
A peace that doesn’t need to be preached
A peace that doesn’t need words
A peace that breathes
I breathe in sync with her
I am saved
John 14:27
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.”
She embodies love
As written in their own language
Or perhaps they have forgotten
1 John 4:8
“For God is love.”
Love and hate cannot coexist
They are repellant forces
Not two sides of the same coin
Not two energies working together
Or perhaps it is love itself
That they have forgotten altogether
That they have redefined to their own liking
Using a personalized pen to write over stone
1 Corinthians
“Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not envy or boast.
It does not dishonor others.
It is not easily angered.
It is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way.
It is not irritable or resentful.
Love does not delight in evil.”
I wonder if they have considered
That it is their scorn that is evil, not my love
My sweet and soft love
If their love is truly defined by anger and judgement
Then we will never speak the same language
After all.
