Home Cut - Uncle David
Uh, not just yet. Give us some time to adjust… Okay, what do you want? Because I’m not serving today, no more fizz. Or rum. Mona’s placing an order this week so I’ll get her to top the store up. No promises you’ll see a repeat though, only if you’re lucky, do you need a quick trim round the edges?
Can ask Mimi to bring her scissors next time, you’ll leave looking a different person! Can only tell you after if it’s an improvement or if you need to take a week off work. There’s only so much a hat can do, and they’ve never been Mona’s friend bless her. Less Princess Beatrice and more highland cow in a fascinator, told her that to her face once, haven’t said that out loud again since, but last night called for it. She didn’t half give me a shock this morning, I was quietly dozing, the sun just started seeping in, I opened my eyes and thought what a lovely day and then who the hell are you? Can’t get away with that behaviour now, not now I’m a grandad expecting twins.
It’s our date night tonight so I’m trying to revive myself slowly, every second Sunday we have a quiet, just us night in. I like to think I’m a generous husband. Honestly, thirty two years of marriage it’s all about balance, what you give is what you get, right? I mean look at us, I provide the gorgeous view and Waitrose mobile, Mona provides the scratches and patience of a saint. She still laughs at my jokes, every one, even when the kids tell me straight that I need to retire from attempted humour, as long as she’s still laughing I’m in business!
Saying that, she was the original joker. First time we met she was climbing a lamp post in her bare feet singing 9 till 5, it was her first week in her first proper job, and swigging from a pint of Stella - and in that moment I thought, now there’s a women who can multitask. So she’d just started at this insurance firm doing admin bits and was out with her new work colleagues, making a good, lasting impression. When she finished the pint she slid back down the lamp post, grabbed her shoes, went back inside the pub, and two minutes later came out with a G & T, and no shoes. I went over to her and said, ‘I think you’re missing something love’ she looked me up and down, and said ‘All I’m missing is tonights Faulty Towers’, threw her drink over me, called me a nosey sod and went back inside the pub. We found her climbing on the bar trying to get her shoes down from the beams.
Two weeks later on a Sunday, our first date we had fish and chips, watched Faulty Towers and shared a bottle of cloudy lemonade.
Lemonade’s already in the fridge, and this week it’s my turn to do the chippy run. So wish me luck.
